Significance is one of the key human needs. We all need to feel that our existence matters, that we are needed and important. That our purpose in life is more than just existing.

Feeling significant has a direct impact on the way we act in business and at home. 

When we feel insignificant we can become down, despondent, even depressed. We may put off doing things that we are perfectly capable of doing. We might feel that things are pointless or that we are simply not good enough. 

Insignificance breeds in-action, stops people from fulfilling their dreams, stops people from leading rich and enjoyable lives. Most of all though it stops them from achieving their potential. To live a life unfulfilled is a waste, some might say it’s a tragedy. 

Why do people begin to feel insignificant? 

Many things can alter our state, our mindset, our connection with the world and the way we see it and experience it. Even when these changes have been expected or wished for they can have life shifting consequences. 

Limiting beliefs, poor self image and low self esteem can leave us feeling insignificant. Irrespective of how these feelings came about, their presence will really affect our ability to step forward and live a fulfilling life.

Redundancy, very often redundancy comes as a shock and a very unwelcome change to our normal pattern of life. The change, loss of income and loss of status can often leave people feeling insignificant.

Retirement is often anticipated with glee but then after the initial excitement of all that “free time”, the reality can be one of loss and lack of purpose and importance. How many times have you seen a previously active person retire and seemingly become ‘old’ overnight! Purpose and significance keep us young, it keeps us focused and our energy dynamic. 

Bereavement causes heartache in many ways, one unspoken reality is the loss of confidence a spouse can feel after losing their life partner. Suddenly their reason for existing, their confidant and their best friend is no longer there. Life takes on a very different vibe and with that vibe they sadly can feel that life holds little significance. 

Another example is Motherhood, there is nothing that can prepare any woman to fully understand the seismic change that occurs when a little bundle of joy arrives. Suddenly your life is turned upside down; On one hand you are more vital and significant than ever before but on the other, you are no longer an individual (well you don’t feel like you are). You are Mum! 

If you have had a career prior to Motherhood which undoubtedly comes with a title and an ego attached to that, then becoming “just” a Mum can be quite a shock. 

My personal experience with Motherhood was one of wonder and awe, I absolutely loved it but,  after the first nine months I began to wonder who I was. I didn’t have a job title, a label of significance and I also didn’t have the salary and perks that I was so used to.

This change of ego and financial certainty definitely wobbled my confidence and made me feel less than significant to the outside world. Before anyone bashes me and accuses me of not fully understanding the pleasure and the gratitude that motherhood brings…its okay. I know how lucky I am to be a mother and I marvel at the life I created on a daily basis BUT I was once my own person. I had a job, a career, a salary a beautiful car and an expense account. I travelled the world, made big decisions, bought the shoes AND the dress and I came home to dinner and wine with candles and sometimes even a hot bubble bath! 

Motherhood is amazing and joyous and truly the best thing that ever happened to me but I cannot lie to you and say that I didn’t lose some of me in the process and with that, I felt a loss of significance. I felt vulnerable, I felt exposed, I felt worried and I couldn’t see a future for me.

Enough of the gloom and doom though. Let’s look at four ways to increase your feeling of significance. 

 1. Energy and Posture - Change your State

How you show up is everything. You cannot separate body and mind, you need them to work together. 

I’ve never met a successful person who has low energy. The way you sit, stand, speak and even the way you breathe presents a certain energy. 

If you are feeling down and defeated, your head and shoulders are probably drooping and down. If you lift your head and put your shoulders back this will instantly make you feel more positive. This also opens up the diaphragm which allows you to breathe more deeply allowing oxygen to flood into your cells and brain which automatically perks you up. 

Now, try putting your hands on your hips, like Superman or Wonder Woman  (this is called Superman/Wonder Woman  pose), stand like this with your head up and shoulders back for 20 seconds and see how you feel after. You can even try walking around the house like this with some music on and see how that feels…who cares if the neighbours see you !! Give them something to talk about :-)

Imagine a piece of string attached to your head, pulling you up, right from the bottom of your back to the top of your head, this helps you to lengthen your spine which helps you to maintain better posture. This is a great thing to do periodically when you are sitting for a long time. 

Don’t forget to get up and move your body as well, get all those internal juices flowing, get the energy flowing and keep energised and alert.

Your face matters too, try smiling instead of being so serious, even when you’re on your own, in the car, out for a run or maybe doing the grocery shopping. People will look at you and feel happier just for seeing your face, it’s a proven fact that communities benefit from friendly smiling faces. It’s a great way to lift your spirits and it’s fun too. Incidentally, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile. Smiling has been proven to have great health benefits, it can lower blood pressure, decrease stress, increase mood enhancing endorphins and it even makes you look younger. Sound good? Try it.

2. Your memory muscle 

Go back to a time when you felt very significant, think about the circumstances, there may be some situations in your life where you feel very confident and significant. 

What is it about that that makes you feel significant.

Hear, feel, see , taste …create an image.

Who else was present, who else is relevant. Is there anyone that should have been there.

Now amplify all that…

Make the images bigger, clearer, widescreen like a film you’re in. 

This is the beginning of creating a meaningful vision for your future self. This visualisation can be transferred onto paper if you choose and you can have a daily reminder of what this significant , capable, strong person looks and feels like. 

3. Start your day the right way

In order that you give yourself the best start to the day, it’s essential to have a fixed morning routine in place. This is something you do no matter what, it becomes a habit. In order to form any new habit you need to make a commitment and, you need to be disciplined. Real change can only take place when you commit to making it happen. No half measures, no making excuses, you need to be all in. 

There are various things that people do to start their day and these usually include all or some of the following. 

• Set an alarm that allows you time to have half an hour to an hour by yourself before the rest of the house wakes up , if you can’t manage an hour start with half an hour. To properly prepare for a winning day you need some alone time, this uninterrupted time for you will make sure that you are ready for anything the day throws at you. This time is not to catch up on jobs it’s to do some very important self care. 
• Make your first drink of the day lemon water, this flushes the system and helps the body become or remain in an alkaline state.
• Do some light stretches, preferably outside if the weather permits. Its great to ground yourself and breathe in some fresh air whenever you possibly can.
• Journal/think/mediate/pray…I have written this like a list because it really does depend on your own style and what feels best for you. I personally journal each and every day and include things like, my Intention for the day, who am I going to be today, how am I showing up, what’s the most important thing to do today, what’s my Outstanding Outcome…if there’s anything worrying me or on my mind, I might write it down and talk myself through it. This all happens pretty quickly, its not like writing a book, its literally a focused activity to help me make good choices for the day ahead.

I also run every day but this takes place after lots of other jobs such as making breakfast, feeding the cats, cleaning the litter trays, emptying the dishwasher, taking my boy to school and anything else that happens before 8.30am. 

4. Spend 20 minutes connecting 

You can increase your feeling of significance and happiness by connecting with people who you love, like, appreciate and care for. Life is busy and often good intentions slip away and before we realise It we have lost touch with people who mean a lot to us.

The act of simply sending a little text message to someone who has been on your mind can improve both your day and theirs. 

Buying a nice card and writing someone a note for no other reason than to say hello, or that you were thinking of them is a beautiful way to reconnect and bring joy to you and them.

There are lots of other ways you can improve your feeling of significance but these are just a few ideas for you to begin with.

When you increase your feeling of significance you dramatically elevate your life. 

Lets finish this topic with a quote from Robin Sharma who wrote The 5am Club and many many other amazing books.

“When you feel that you are truly significant, you will never settle for anything less than greatness”

Thank you for reading, you truly do deserve greatness and so have fun elevating your life one step at a time.

Anne xoxo